October 3, 2021 – I am not in a writing mood — I’m in this crazed-work mode — but I have to try to write something for David Lee Roth’s retirement. That crazed-work mode though is making this hard. It’s making everything other than crazed-work hard. Honestly, though, the crazed-work mode is so that I can retire too. I get Mr. Roth’s decision. I can’t stand my profession in Covid. I can’t stand my profession in the days of people just sitting behind email. I want to build houses. So I’m going to. Somehow. And crazed-work mode comes first. That’s a really long explanation for my lack of weekly stories. I do intend to follow up on my East Texas theme; there’s one more story to do in that series, but it needs to be a decent story, and I’m not inspired. I can’t engage that part of my brain when I’m in this super-work mode I’m in, but, like I said, I’m going to try.

The back story on Mr. Roth. I’ll start there.

Yesterday I saw my young friend – the only girlfriend I have left. I finally met her daughter. Her daughter is two and a half. What the what? I waited so long the poor little girl had no connection to me, even though I do and always will feel a connection to her mother. Her mother apologized, I could tell she felt bad, but I get it, kids are afraid of strangers, and that’s what I am. An old stranger. And one who needs to retire.

My young friend is a good person, good in the sense that she intensely cares about what’s important to her friends. She texted me the day that Eddie died. But everyone I knew from all my life already had. I think I saw the news myself that day, first. On Friday, she texted me saying that David Lee Roth is retiring. I read the article on the desk; I listened to the audio clip. It’s not an announcement as devastating as the news about Eddie that day about one year ago, but it’s definitely a hard stop in a story line.

I’ve read my fair share of books in my life. I’ve read book series. Books used to say “the end” on the final page, as if the reader can’t tell the story ends when there aren’t any more words. Honestly though my favorites are the books that just end, then have an epilogue. To me, Mr. Roth’s announcement is that – an epilogue.

“The end” was a day in early October 2015 – the last Van Halen concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I was there. I managed to get up close, in those private boxes at the front of the Hollywood Bowl. A few guys let me into their box when the fire guards kicked every out from the standing area behind the boxes. I was close enough to see David Lee Roth’s face. I was close enough he could hear me scream out “no” when he asked can everyone hear me out there? He gets his feathers ruffled if someone says no; he didn’t look too happy with me. Honestly, I thought he might yell at me. But I just had to; you all who know me can get that. Or perhaps… Perhaps I’ll go all silly David Lee Roth-girl on you all and say perhaps he just liked my voice. No, no, he got his feathers ruffled.

Silly David Lee Roth-girl moment aside, that night was his retirement.

There was a sort-of last chapter when he did the pre-Covid shows. I saw the last of those. In fact, that might even be my personal last concert, ever. I don’t much care for going alone, and I don’t care much for anything in the post-Covid era, my profession included, but I digress to my original distraction.

After the 2015 concert, I did an article afterwards saying I thought that was it. Honestly, David’s foray into trying to carry the Van Halen torch in 2020 on the eve of Covid was just him testing the waters. Signing up for new shows just made him realize none of that makes sense. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps being in a band is everything to him. Perhaps he’s sick. People are fearing that. I don’t think so though. I think it’s just that nothing is the same. It’s an intangible that not even I can describe about my own life. I think it’s enough though to just be … done. I totally and absolutely get it. It’s a new world now. A hard stop in reality.

Still, David’s statement last week is an epilogue – a jump in time where he simply says he’s not coming back, all when the actual book already ended. And I really do love epilogues, so I’m grateful for the statement. No ghosting by David Lee Roth. No ambiguity. Just an honest gentleman putting it out there for his fans.

I don’t pretend to speak for every Van Halen fan. I don’t pretend to know what one should do. I don’t pretend to think there should be any tribute concert, any half reunion, any on-stage appearances by Alex Van Halen or Michael Anthony. For me, I’m just thankful that I read the book. No, I don’t mean any actual book. I’ve never managed to get through even one Van Halen book, and I don’t listen to many interviews. I don’t know the facts. What that mean is that of the words that would be in the book, I saw them, and heard them.

I got my driver’s license when Van Halen I was first released. When Van Halen II was released, I was a star baton twirler hanging out in the parking lot making my routines for Friday night. When Women and Children was released, I was an older teen who commented to her mother about how good looking that cover was; my mother’s father said no to Elvis (who had arrived at my mother’s house to ask her out) because he thought Elvis looked like thug. My mother said “he looks like a thug” to that album cover. That’s a great omen for any man to be called a thug by an elder in my family, apparently. When Fair Warning came out, I set out on a mission to see Van Halen. I managed passes. I managed front row. Always. The Van Halen quest continued into the Diver Down era. I managed experiences fit for the pages of this book; I had theories and thoughts based on a life that included this band. When 1984 came out, I saw it coming. I listened with my girlfriends. Honestly, for me, that was a hard stop in my story. My life had changed, markedly, between Fair Warning and Diver Down. By 1984, nothing was the same for me.

People say Van Halen was the soundtrack of their lives. I read that all the time in comments. It wasn’t my soundtrack. I loved it, but I didn’t learn to play it, I didn’t listen to it at all after rock changed. I put it away. And I worked. I built a career. I built a business. I built a life. I do think there are things from my Van Halen era that I took out of it, because Van Halen to me was … well, I suppose that will stay locked away, but I’ll just say it was an important inspiration. How about this? Part of it, part of what I’m talking about, is a work ethic, a need to do something … good. Yes, that’s what I’ll say. I’m not done. Nowhere near. And I do think much of my life has been a tangent. A means to an end. And that would take way too much explanation. But when I put Van Halen away, and I did, I really put them away. I didn’t even go to the 2008 reunion show. It wasn’t anywhere near where I needed to be then.

But 2012…

That new record. I was so into that. That was like a reunion of thoughts. To me the record wasn’t so much Eddie’s new playing. I know, most people think so. Most people think it was Eddie’s time to play with his son, and all of that is true. But for me, what I really wanted to know was what was David Lee Roth thinking. And his lyrics told at least something of it. Blood and Fire. The Trouble with Never. The dog barking in Honeybabysweetydoll. The grown-up man’s humor throughout. Honestly, too, the pain of a life that didn’t really go as planned. I guess he too had a lot of years that were tangents, where he really wasn’t anywhere near where he needed to be.

I do think if he can’t do it at the level of a mega-band, he doesn’t want to do it. Honestly, nobody can — comparing in my mind a solo Robert Plant show to what it would be if it were a Led Zeppelin show. That’s David’s choice. And I could see it in October 2015.

Still, this Van Halen fan is thankful for a handful of really major things. I’m thankful that my Van Halen experience isn’t from a book, that it was reality instead of something on a page. I’m thankful for my own chapter in the book, for the tangible experience I had with the music and everything. I’m thankful I saw the shows up close with my naked steaming eyes. I’m thankful for all of this impact on me; as the song goes … it meant a lot to me.

As for the future, I don’t think this a book series. But then again, the greats aren’t really series. Well except Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn are very related, so one might argue there could be a Huck Finn to the VH-Tom Sawyer. But hey, if he’s not feeling it… I’m thankful he’s doing what he wants.

As for my musical taste, I’m pretty much full-time country, or pop, or whatever one calls the music I like. I’m not even sure what all of this will mean for my writing. I’ve certainly put down a lot of words today, so perhaps I still have a few stories in me. I doubt I’ll get my audience into what I’m into or what I like to play. But I’m still feeling like giving a song to this story. And I’m going to be true to what I really listen to now.

So … for David Lee Roth’s retirement, I’m going with a Lana Del Rey song, albeit an unreleased song from when she was developing her image. I guess she was a fan of Mr. Roth’s too, but you’ll have to listen to the song to hear that. Bon Voyage Mr. David Lee Roth. Or as you say, Stay Frosty.