October 16, 2022 — Out where my horse is, my car radio gets two stations clearly: a country station, and the local simulcast of KIIS-FM, Los Angeles’ pop station. On Saturday mornings, when I’m giving my trees water or buying hay, I listen to Ryan Seacrest’s Top 40 countdown show on KIIS or the local station that simulcasts the station. I used to love those countdown shows. I would quite literally listen to the entire thing every week. Not any more because the shows have radically changed since those days. The top songs are rarely ones I’m all that in to, but I’m seeing a pattern.

There have always been patterns, formula’s even, to songs. A rock song with its verse, chorus, verse, chorus, solo, chorus (or something similar). Songs that are three minutes long, or just over. But the pattern now is redoing old songs, as rap. Sure, rap artists have always sampled songs, but these new versions pretty much use the entire old song. They are different. The seem to be a Chapter 2 to the old song, like the old song personified or come to life. And there are tons of them, like tons!

just now, there’s Nicky Minaj being the Super Freak of the Rick James song; hers is called Super Freaky Girl, I think, although the chorus is “f r eeeee a k”, so I want it to be called that because it’s catchier:

There’s Jack Harlow (don’t know him) personifying the Fergie song, Glamorous; Jack Harlow’s song is called First Class, a line from the original song. This one is always on the radio, by the way:

Then some people are going way back and way out of the way. There’s a song by Doja Cat for the Elvis soundtrack, re-imagining Hound Dog. She’s not the hound dog I don’t think, but calling out one. And DJ Khalid and Drake re-imagined/partially covered Staying Alive by the Bee Gees. Their song is a tribute to doctors and nurses, maybe, I think. Funny, I read some of the comments to that Staying Alive song, and the commenters have no idea this is not an original. They call Khalid and Drake genius for these lyrics, oo, oo, oo, staying alive. Yes, genius.

Seriously people, I know the answer! They will bring rock back … as a rap song. If you can stand it, watch the official video for the very dirty version of Nicky Minaj’s song Freaky Girl. It has her holding guitars as some sort of theme I can’t figure out. I can’t imagine which song will be rapped over, and I’m not talking about that Aerosmith type remake of Walk This Way, but something really rapped over, like these people are doing, in a Chapter 2 kind of way. Chapter 2 of Stairway to Heaven, in Heaven? Chapter 2 to Ain’t Taking “Bout Love, holding a baby? All Along the Watchtower, finally deciding did Hendrix or Dylan do it better? I really think this will happen, maybe not those songs, but some Chapter 2 rock song with the rapper personifying the subject of the song. Scary or good. You be the judge.