August 29, 2020 (originally written July 26, 2020). My site wanted me to take a vacation. Thanks to jhs for helping me get back on. Right now, I’m so busy it’s not even funny. When I first wrote this, on July 26, 2020 (and couldn’t post it because the page to post it wouldn’t let me in), I was busy too; then I was painting my room. I had things really torn apart; some of them still are. But there are things I must finish, and I have to figure out payment deadlines that are fast-approaching, so I’m under a lot of stress. It’s a long story, and I suppose things I bring on myself for being me. You can’t imagine how much I wish I was a normal person, but I’m not. So, in a way, I feel like I’m reading this story I wrote on July 26 but couldn’t post because the site was broken, in the same way you all do because I don’t remember much of this. This makes for a strange exercise. A day in the life of myself, one month ago. So here goes; I’m going with this old story as a new story, although just to make it my experience now, and because it’s fun to laugh at myself, I’m going to write my internal conversation with myself while reading it in bold. Here goes.
My girlies want me to spend money. Ellie Goulding released her first full album in five years. I bought that in vinyl form. Sure, I’m at least a year away (in Covid time that’s probably three years away) from getting my turntable-stereo mess working, but hey I’ll have it when the stereo finally works. Oh and that Ellie vinyl version came with an autographed promo card. I have been listening to Ellie’s record on YouTube whenever I’ve had a chance, which is almost never seeing as work seems to have picked up to the point of crazy (yep worse now), only so that every case can get moved to next year and drive us all out of business. Yep, feeling even more stressed about that now. Oh, and in the midst of that worry, I do what I do: make it worse. I’ve been renovating, well I was, using the last of paint that miraculously hasn’t gone bad. So I can’t really give you a review yet because I haven’t had time to really feel that record yet And to add to it all….
Two days ago, now a month and a week ago, I was on hold waiting to get help with a customer service need, doing some emails as well, and what popped into my email? An email from Taylor Swift. I thought it would be merchandise on sale, or something like that, but NO! It was the announcement that an entire album full of songs would be released at midnight. Taylor was supposed to be doing her concerts right now, ahem, in July, Glastenbury, remember the festival that was going to have Taylor Swift AND Lana Del Rey, in other words, the Whispergirl Festival? She was to have two stadium concerts too. All of that got Covid canceled, so I suppose that left her with too much time on her hands. And seeing as she doesn’t need to paint her own house, or worry about her entire law practice going crazy, what did she do with the time? Nothing short of completely remake herself.
Back is the wavy hair; I really always did love her wavy hair. Back is the simplistic sound. It’s not country so much as indie, indie combined with a little bit of country. Seriously, this is so up my alley. Plus it reminds me of the song she did for the Hunger Games movies called Safe and Sound. I had started working on that song earlier in the summer, but it has been chaotic so I haven’t actually practiced. Yeah, I practiced twice last week. Plus my guitar teacher became another Covid casualty in my life, meaning something I lost because of choices one makes, which has left me on my own without much motivation, or perhaps a bit in mourning over losing my guitar playing company. Well, not anymore; I’m used to it now. Honestly though, yesterday, I pulled up the chords to my favorite Taylor song from this new album, and I’m going to tackle that song just as soon as I get my bedroom put back together. Seriously, I wouldn’t bring a guitar out right now; it stands too great of a chance to get hurt. But me pulling up those chords means I’m close to resuming my playing. Thanks, Taylor, for that, and for the song I want to learn to play. Umm, it’s embarrassing to read my stories and know an entire month has passed and I only have the bedroom done; the sitting room where I practice is still not done. But hey, I did play my normal Taylor song this week. One has to start somewhere.
This isn’t a review, because I need more time with these songs. Yep, I still do. But I will say, they are everything I would have wanted. Plus they tell stories, like every good country song does, like every masterful poem does. Indeed, Taylor has made characters in the songs. She said there’s a high school affair in the form of three songs. Her song Betty is written from the guy’s standpoint; her song Cardigan is from the girlfriend’s standpoint, and August is from the other girl’s standpoint; I think, all without the normal anger, scorn or moral judgment. My standout song, the one I talked about above, I’m keeping to myself until I learn it on guitar, but I do really like the song called The Last Great American Dynasty, itself the story of her house in Rhode Island, so I’ll feature that one. It’s funny; we’ll go with funny because there is a lot of melancholy on this record, yes, very up my alley, but today I think I need happy.
And I’ll feature Cardigan too, just because the video is so Narnia-like; maybe that’s Taylor’s call-out to Hunger Games, to the Safe and Sound vibe that I’ve secretly hoped she would do more of since she first released that song an aeon ago. On and I do like me some fantasy worlds. Plus, the visual – a cardigan — goes with the song I play every day from a much earlier album, called All Too Well, which was about an ex keeping his former girlfriend’s scarf. I’m thinking Taylor likes fall. Heck you can even buy the cardigan for a mere $45, and no I haven’t.
As for Indie, I hope someday Taylor says something when she’s singing her song We Are Never Getting Back Together, ever , never, ever, yes that is the title in my world. That song had a line about the subject of the song, some boy who no longer matters, and that boy’s view of her music as opposed to his much better music. “An indie record much cooler than mine ”, says Taylor about some other record of some other much cooler person. I think it would be funny if she changed the lyrics to… oh, how about, an indie record not as cool as mine.
Turns out, Taylor finally got around to this record. Turns out, Taylor finally got old enough for this record. Then again, I always thought she would. I was hoping the softness of the heavy advance press for her August 2019 release of the Lover album signaled a return to a more acoustic, if not a country, sound because all of the press was done in Nashville, but it didn’t. And as it turns out, when one is going to change, they just … all of a sudden change. This is the Taylor I knew she would be. It’s the Taylor that man on a boat was playing while I floated around in the 90 degree water of the sand-bottomed lake of my original East Texas hometown that day in 2009 when my grandmother died. There were only two Taylor albums then, and he was happy to turn up the boat’s stereo and play me my first real taste of Taylor as I swam on my back in that lake a dozen yards from the children whose parents had brought them to that shore just as my grandparents did for me long ago. Taylor was then, and became forever, my comfort music. Some of her songs have strayed a bit, and I didn’t like the straight hair that much, but this record is very special to me. I know I’ll play it forever. And a forever album is a good change, Ms. Swift. Oh, and yes, I bought both the cassette and the vinyl album, the one with the cover called Betty’s garden. No, Taylor I can’t afford to buy all eight different covers. Now back to painting, make that working so I can then go back to painting. I need to finish all of this so I can learn my new Taylor song I’m going to learn, the song I’m keeping to myself. For now. Yes, for now, because I’m pretty far away from knowing the new song I want to learn given this crazy time for me. Oh and it’s super weird reading my own stories. I seriously thank you all for reading them!