February 24, 2018 — Hypothetically, what you do if let’s say, one day, you were writing a comment to an article about a particular rocker, and you got a notification of a reply, a reply not from some person you know from the site, or from some random fan, but from that rocker himself? Okay, and let’s make this hypothetical worse. Let’s say you were critical, perhaps insensitive to that rocker. Let’s say you criticized the rocker’s physical condition; oh I don’t know, let’s say you said that particular rocker needed … white strips for his teeth. If you got a reply back, would you (a) apologize; (b) arrange to send the white strips to the rocker; (c) say nothing because you’re completely mortified, or (d) pick a fight with said rocker, resulting in the proposition of a meeting to consummate said fight? Well, if you picked (d), you win…the Sebastian Bach prize! I was tipped off to this by our participant jhs, and this conversation actually happened, and I mean happened from the comment to “white strips” all the way to (d). It went something like this.

The rock fan-site Blabbermouth reported in March 2017 that Sebastian Bach was busy working on a new record. The website used the cover photo here of Sebastian that wasn’t that flattering especially as to Sebastian’s teeth. My true confession: before I looked at the comments, my own thought was “what’s wrong with Sebastian’s smile?” I think the probable answer is something to do with substances, but I’m not sure I want to know. Scary kids, scary.

So I read the comments next. I have the link below for you to do the same. Be sure to sort by oldest first, then you have to click “next 10 comments” a few times. I might be being gossipy but I think this is really funny.

Some random guy really did post about Sebastian’s teeth, and perhaps something about Sebastian’s mother. You know? It’s boys on the Internet, on a rock website to be exact, so you get those sorts of comments. Leaving no question as to whether Sebastian reads that site, he not only responds; he throws himself into the mix. Sebastian replies saying gems such as “Hey fuck face???? When can we meet!????? Name the time and the place. When you are finishing your bass lessons [the name of the random poster had some reference to the bass] that is! How many years do you think it will take you to learn 4 whole strings?” We also get “Congrats, Tim! After spending decades in Japan trying to learn how to play the bass, you might get your ass whupped by a musician who actually gets paid to make some music for a living!”. Some of the comments appear to have been deleted, but from context there was a series about meeting at the Rainbow (the decades-long-running rocker bar on Sunset) for a fight. People jump in to lend support to the fight, on both sides that is, some saying the keyboard warrior won’t show, some not supportive of Sebastian. We even get this gem from an onlooker:

“Just curious as to where this match up is going to take place. Will it be a sanctioned fight, 12 rounds, 3 knock down rule, or will it be UFC style? Will it be at a catch weight, or will someone look to unify two Blabbermouth (the website) belts by making weight classes? Tim, how will you cope with the reach disadvantage? Will you look to use the jab, stay on the outside, and then do the body work in close?? So. Many. Questions.”

Perhaps that poster missed the whole Rainbow suggestion. Regardless, I like that comment, and I can imagine it was fun to read real-time, you know, lots of people all over getting out their popcorn that night!

Then Sebastian changes the venue, stating there will be no fight at the Rainbow. What he does say is classic modern Hollywood though, at least for anyone who has lived here in the last four or so years, knowing that the car-line to get into the Chick-Fil-A on Sunset and Highland is its own phenomenon. Whoever owns that Chick-Fil-A has a gold mine, I tell you, and there isn’t even any place to sit down, just outside tables with misters in the summertime. And it seems Sebastian is a fan of that Chick-fil-A, even more so than the Rainbow. Just check out Sebastian’s ultimate response:

“…well, this has been really fun and everything, but I must regretfully inform you that I unfortunately am not available to kick your ass today at 9 PM. I have just checked my schedule, and did not realize that I was already pre-confirmed for a previous ass kicking at that same time. I apologize. I can see you at exactly 2:45 this afternoon, at the Chick-fil-A on Sunset. If that does not work for you, we can happily schedule the whupping for next week sometime. Thanks and again I apologize for any inconvenience. I will see you on here the next happy headline about a record that does not exist, that you already don’t like. Awesome! Have a wonderful day.”

Sebastian’s target then questions whether Sebastian is wearing a dress, upset that Sebastian chickened out (or should I say Chick-fil-A’d out); others chime in, calling Sebastian other names for certain female parts in said dress.

So there you have it. Choice (d) from my hypothetical-turned-Internet-reality, in nutshell. Perhaps this falls into the category of be careful what you write on the Internet; perhaps it falls into the category of you never know who’s reading; perhaps it’s just so funny I can’t even take it seriously. And definitely, I’m not the only one who liked that Chick-fil-A.

Oh and the prize? Remember, I promised you a prize?

Well I look to none other than Sebastian Bach for the prize. The prize? His very own … worn out boots! Yes, he sold those to some lucky person. Or so Blabbermouth reported.

It just makes me wonder? Why does that website get all the fun? Humm, I wonder when Sebastian’s record is coming out? It might be soon. I’ll be sure to report about it. Perhaps I’ll even take my computer over to Chick-fil-A on Sunset to write the article. You just never know who will show up….

My video: a contemporaneous-to-the-article show performance from Sebastian Bach. He seems to be having fun, so hopefully he won’t mind us poking a little fun at/with/because of him.

March 7, 2017 article about Sebastian Bach’s record:

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/sebastian-bach-is-about-to-start-work-on-follow-up-to-give-em-hell/?fb_comment_id=fbc_1278413185529451_1278423605528409_1278423605528409#f34e51cb426a7ba