October 7, 2017, updated October 8, 2017 — I think the nicest send offs, tributes in other terms, are the ones that make us feel a connection to our own lives. As of the time of writing, there was no tribute to the victims of the Las Vegas shooting from Jason Aldean, the performer who is, himself, a survivor because he was on stage at the time. I thought that left Tom Petty, but Jason Aldean did what I hoped for, he paid tribute to both — Las Vegas and Tom Petty in Jason’s Saturday Night Performance. When I venture into country music, Jason Aldean is a constant, so I liked it.

I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest Tom Petty fan, but I really do appreciate his music, I think more so now. His music follows that singer-songwriter vibe I’m into now, although he did it as part of a band. And I love that scene in the movie The Postman where Kevin Costner’s character comes across Tom Petty and says I know you; you’re famous. It’s a post-Apocalyptic plot, and Tom humbly says I used to be, sort of. I think I have it right, but don’t quote me on the exact words. I tend to believe things like that, believe people are humble when they present themselves that way. It makes a performer “good” in my opinion.

The night of Tom’s death, the radio was playing hours of Tom Petty music. Honestly, it never occurred to me there was so much. I wanted to keep listening. A couple days later, knowing he was recently on tour, I was curious as to what he sounded like now. The concert I listened to, recorded at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey on June 16, 2017, featured Tom, sounding very much like his youth. The songs are consistently strong. There is a strong energy between Tom and his band and the audience. It makes me wish I had seen Tom Petty. I never did.

My favorite part of this concert is another bit of Tom’s humility. At about 54:30, while he was introducing his band, he told the story of his connection with his lead guitar player. Tom said he went to his local music store looking to find a guitar player; there was one guy with a posting looking to be in a band. No phone number. Just an address. So Tom drove out there, to what he calls one shaky looking place. He met his future guitar player who had a $90 Japanese guitar. Tom thought about making a polite exit, but the guy cut into the introduction to Johnny B. Goode, and Tom decided Man you’re going to be in my band forever. There was love in that story. Tom says the name of his lead guitar player, Mike Campbell, who looks every ounce the part and is holding a guitar much more expensive than a $90 guitar, which does nothing but make me feel sorry for my guitars (one Gibson gets me, one Gibson gets Mike Campbell), but that’s another point entirely. My point is this love in that band. Tom was a fortunate one.

And that brings me to the tributes. There are a few out there. I have two favorites.

The first is from Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus. I have a special place in my heart for father-daughter things. I like Miley, and I like her dad. I like their father-daughter thing, or perhaps theirs is a daughter-father thing. Plus my dad’s middle name is Ray too. As performers on The Tonight Show, they covered Tom Petty’s Wildflowers. Their version of the song has a decidedly country flavor. Miley looks pretty. Billy Ray is seated, calmly playing guitar and quietly signing along to Miley’s strong vocals. There’s a moment where their personality appears: Miley asks her dad are you ready dad? I have no words. It’s the summary of my life over the past year: are you ready dad? Every adventure I put us through, some with my dad barely aware of what was happening. Just this week my dad told me he wanted to come to California and help me get one of my ventures (that I don’t even have) going … meaning physical work. Mind you, he’s not capable of that, but just those words…. I felt like Miley. Are you ready Dad?

Then there is Tom’s daughter’s social media posted tribute. I read Tom’s daughter Violette’s posts the day of Tom’s hospitalization. She was distraught, so emotional; I felt for her. Following his passing, Violette posted about seeing her father from her seat at the Hollywood Bowl show, which would be his last show:

“One week ago today I was watching my dad play…. Sat watching realizing I grew up on these songs. Everyone grew up on these songs. This is real American art made from the roots of real people who deeply love life. My father loves music more than anything and always put music first. It’s going to be healing to know I will never go a day without hearing his music. I love his class, honesty and how strange and funny he is. Tom Petty is an American icon because his heart has always put human rights first. We are one. I love you dad. Your songs are dreams manifested.”

Dreams manifested. In my last article I wrote before these tragedies and quickly covered over was a manifesto in personal confusion. Is the act of chasing dreams mutually exclusive from a happy life? That confusion is still there, but there are answers in Tom’s life, answers in his belief in people, in his daughter’s love, in his belief in his guitar player with the $90 guitar, his band, belief that someone really can live a dream all while being a good and happy person. There are answers in Miley’s statements to her dad in a performance on national tv: are you ready dad? Dreams and love. Dreams and happiness. We just always have to have the right people with us. And I can never watch La La Land again!